


clean and muted

by Cloudnine101



Series: Stormpilot Stories [13]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 21:23:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6487849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloudnine101/pseuds/Cloudnine101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Colours take on new meaning when he's around Poe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	clean and muted

_Yellow;_

Poe cranes his neck up and laughs as Finn tugs him towards the shelter. Poe, stubborn to the last, remains outside until it has actually begun to rain, digging in his heels. The water drips down over his cheeks in smears. Poe wraps his arms around himself as he ducks his head. Finn has to look away.

Following Poe along the corridor, Finn can feel happiness blossoming in his chest. Being around Poe made him happy. Everything about Poe is wonderful.

Poe collapses back onto the bed and Finn goes after him, stretching out and listening to his muscles pop. When Poe laughs, Finn says, "You're enjoying my pain way too much. Go and hurt yourself if it makes you so happy."

The sky outside's tepid with clouds and yellow - bright, bright yellow. Everything about this place is bright. Everything happens in extremes. Everything is pressing or urgent or of vital importance, Finn, you probably shouldn't touch that in case it explodes!

Poe coos at him, jostling his already aching shoulder. Finn shoves him back. In response, Poe grabs a pillow and hits him with it, hard enough to hurt. Finn brings up his hands to shield his face. "Alright, alright! I give. I give!"

"Not all of my friends," Finn says, "have been as good as you."

"If you're using me as an example, you could've picked a better one." The creases in the shoulders of his shirt had been pressed in tight. Poe rolls onto his side with a breath. "I'm not exactly good friendship material."

"You're great," Finn says. "You're everything I need right now, Poe."

"See, it's the right now that worries me."

Finn feels something close to worry clench in his chest. "That's not what I meant." It isn't - it really, really isn't. Finn wants Poe around him. He needs Poe. Poe is sweet and strong and kind, and everything Finn can't make himself be alone. He needs Poe. Poe is tangible evidence that they made it out, when Finn wakes up at night yelling. Poe is somebody who can help.

"Yeah, I know," Poe says. He's curled into himself, his hand brushing against Finn's trousers. As much as Finn wants to take it, he knew that he can't. Poe looks startled. "Finn?"

Finn forces himself to smile. "Would you mind sitting up? There's something I've got to say."

Poe watches him carefully. "What?"

Finn can't speak. His throat is tight and his head is hot. It's as though a part of him is floating above himself. He can't put it into words. He smiles instead. "Thanks."

It isn't what he wanted. Poe looks happy, though.

 

_Blue;_

Poe likes swimming, which is fine. He goes every second day. Sometimes, Finn even plucks up the courage to tag along with him.

It's not even the fact that Poe is almost naked. If that was the only thing, Finn would be in agony enough, but he's kinda desensitised to it now. He knows to look the other way when Poe's training, and not be around when Poe decides to take a shower. The first night they shared a room, Poe had come out with his towel low around his hips. That had been fun.

It isn't Poe looking good. It's Poe swimming. Poe swimming - he's elegant. Whenever Finn goes in, he splashes around stupidly for a couple of minutes like a beached whale. When Poe enters the water, he cuts through it smoothly, carefully, softly, and he - it - he knows what he's doing, is what Finn's trying to say. And that's fine. Finn is totally game. Completely.

"Finn!" Poe calls. He raises his hand and waves. His torso's perfectly sculpted; there's a trail of hair that leads down from his naval underneath his shorts. "You coming in?"

The droplets roll down the line of Poe's throat.

Finn braces himself. The water rolls up and around him. Poe is at his side, taking his hands and encouraging him, gentle even as Finn slips and has to catch at his hips for support. They stand out through Poe's skin. Finn's mouth is suddenly far too dry. Poe only pats the top of his head and laughs.

 

_Red;_

"Somebody tell me what's going on!" Finn yells, but no one can hear him. The control hub's alive with talking. Everybody's got someplace else to be - he tries to grab onto Snap's sleeve; Snap barely even seems to notice. "Where's Poe?"

"Finn," Pava says, "he's alive. But they're in a tight spot. It'll - it'll be difficult. The General's transmitting a message to the Order now."

"But they can't. They can't have him. They - they'll hurt him again. You know what Ren can do. You saw that." Finn looks at Pava's face. Her lips are set apart. She's steely. "Is Poe on the line? Can I talk to him?"

"I don't know," Pava says. "The General will want to make sure he's alive, but the Order might have made a recording, or - or anything. Wait. Finn, please, for once in your life just - just _wait_."

The video appears in the centre of the room, where Poe had stood so many times before for debriefings. Finn can remember that. Poe's hair is stuck to the side of his head. He's gasping, chin down. Finn can't look past Poe's face. He can hear Pava gasp. Snap looks like he's going to be sick. Poe's eye is encircled by a single, livid bruise, cherry-coloured. Finn feels himself sink sideways. He clutches Pava's shoulder.

"Hey, everybody," Poe says, voice croaking. His lips spasm. "I'm, uh - as you can tell, I'm alive. And this is a live feed, which is what they wanted me to say. Ah. I can't actually see any of you, but I'm pretty sure you can all see me. Sorry, but I'm not in the best shape right now, so I'm not - not gonna be winning any beauty contests." He laughs, slightly. Finn can't speak.

Poe continues, after a beat, "So, this is the deal they're offering. I'm to be returned to you in exchange for the Resistance's next plan of attack. They say that they know you want me back, because I'm a _figurehead_ , or something stupid like that." Poe snorts. There's a sound behind the camera. He sobers up quickly. "If you agree, which I hope you won't, because that is a _terrible_ trade-off - "

The screen goes blank. Everybody remains still. General Organa curses. Finn can see Poe's face throbbing against the backs of his eyes as he knuckles them, before Poe actually reappears. This time, there's a cut on his upper cheek. "If you agree, which you could, they'll trade fair. The plans for me, on the same time tonight. You have six hours. And I'm supposed to say good luck, but _kriff_. Even by my standards, that's too - " The image flickers out.

Everything is quiet. General Organa is holding onto the edge of the desk. Her grip is white-knuckled.

"You're going to get him," Finn says. "Aren't you?"

 

_Green;_

Green is gentle. Green is calm. Green reminds him of the time they were stationed on a forest planet when he was a Trooper - they'd been allowed to go outside, sometimes, to send messages. Green is the Resistance base - the four walls of his room - the land around them. Green is nature, and nature is beauty.

Green is also the colour of the ship Finn's stealing.

"I'm just letting you know that this is an awful idea," Snap says, tightening the belt buckle across his chest, "for the record."

Finn scowls, frustrated. "You don't have to come."

Hopping up into the cockpit, Pava smiles wanly. "Somebody's got to make sure you don't get your sorry ass killed. It's too fine to be wasted. And anyway, Poe would murder us if you died."

Finn leans back against the wall. He clutches the gun to his chest. "How much time do we have?"

Pava checks her timer and grimaces. "Four hours and twenty two minutes."

"This is an awful idea," Snap repeats. "We're all about to die, and when we do, it will be excessively painful, and we will go down in a hail of bullets and failure. I can see my epitaph from here. Temmin Wexley, a good soldier, who died because he was too kriffin' stupid to follow orders."

"Ah, lighten up," Pava says, and slaps him on the shoulder. "What could possibly go wrong?"

 

_Orange;_

It's something Finn's always associated with Poe - his flight uniform. It's what he wears the most, even though he keeps his civilian clothes in his wardrobe. Finn sometimes holds onto them. He enjoys feeling the softness. Poe has comfortable clothes - practicality over style, he says, but he looks good in them anyway, even that cardigan that Pava teases him about.

Poe's uniform has a tear in the arm. Finn runs his hands over it, checking for injuries. There's a neat little slice, around half a centimetre deep. It's little more than a flesh wound, but it's too much. Finn can't think around the pulsing sound in his head. He can't think at all.

"Hey, buddy," Poe smiles, just the same way he always has, "you gonna, uh, work your magic over here? Or am I gonna have to wait for it again?"

He hasn't changed. He hasn't changed a bit. Finn could cry. He could take Poe into his arms and hold him - just hold him.

Finn frowns. "Again?" he says, "What are you talking about?"

Poe's forehead crinkles. "Don't play coy with me. You know exactly what I'm saying. Let's get down to business."

Finn says, slowly, "I'm here to rescue you. Can you stand up?"

Poe can, with difficulty. One of his legs is paining him, but he won't say which one. Nothing he's doing is making any sense. He keeps on pawing at Finn's arm and asking him questions - questions like, "Has anybody ever told you that you look great before? 'Cause you do. Really, really great. Real good. Mm."

"Shut up," Finn hisses, "Poe, for the love of all things, shut up."

"Quiet," Poe stage-whispers, "got it."

Finn sags with relief.

Halfway down the corridor, Poe points a finger at him. "I see what you're doing," he shouts, "you're tempting me! Well, I won't have it, and I won't stand for it, and I won't play these games anymore. You can either kiss me now or get out."

"Kissing? What'd you mean, kissing? Who said anything about kissing?"

Finn wracks his brain, trying to work out exactly when he'd let it slip.

Poe pats Finn's shoulder. "Should've thought it would be obvious by now." He lurches to one side and Finn holds him up, dragging him around the next corner. "Ooh. Finn! Is that a spaceship? You're swooping in to save me, right?"

"Keep it down."

"What'll you do to me if I don't?"

The group of Troopers standing by the exit stare at them for a second before they reach for their blasters. Finn curses and throws Poe ahead of him. They both double back around the corner. The ship is tantalisingly close; the klaxon starts blaring. Soon, they'll have half the base on them. Finn knows the drill. He also knows what'll happen if he doesn't get out of here now. He's taken part in interrogations before - and then there's Poe, face set and ready, saying, "Run."

 

_White;_

The hospital is Finn's least favourite place on base. It's clinical - sterile - which would be fine, if Poe wasn't in there. Nobody visits a hospital because they want to. They visit because there's no other choice but to. And that's not the place Finn wants to be stuck in - sitting on a chair with his eyes closed, trying to breathe evenly.

/Mr Dameron?\ the medi-droid chirps, and Finn looks up, expecting Poe to be there. The droid's antennae twirls. /Are you Mr Finn Dameron?\

"Uh, yeah," Finn says, "yeah, I guess that's me. Is - is Poe - ?"

He can't ask. He has to be told. He can't have the image in his head, he can't think of Poe lying there on his own, cold and still, all by himself.

/He is sleeping.\ The droid wheels closer. For a second, Finn thinks about putting his hands up. He wonders what Rey would do and wants to laugh. What would she say, if she was here now? The droid nestles against his side and rubs his leg. /He will recover soon.\

Shocked, Finn reaches out. He runs his fingers across the droid's cool, pale shell.

"Thank you," Finn tells it, smiling.

/Would you like anything to eat...drink...read?\

"No. I'm good. I think I'm just gonna...sit here a while."

The droid bobs. /Very good.\

Finn waits for four days. He eats when Pava brings him something. She tells him that, when he's ready, the General needs to have a word. She tells him to take his time. She tells him that Poe's going to wake up. That night, Finn goes back to his rooms to pack. He doesn't have much, but he takes one of Poe's shirts. He spends the night talking to Poe - telling him stories about his days on that forest morning with the Order, when he'd come close enough to happiness to touch it. Poe's heartbeat remains stable.

He presents himself to the General in the morning. She's working behind her desk.  
"Come on in," she calls.

"At least let me see him wake up," Finn says, before she can begin reprimanding him. "I know I went against protocol, and I'm sorry for that, but I don't regret it." He can't think of anything past that worth saying, so he shuts his mouth.

The General appraises him steadily. "What you did was foolish," she was, "reckless, hopeless, and could have jeopardised our whole mission. You endangered the lives of good people yesterday."

Finn nods. "Yes."

"I understand why. Try anything like this again, and I will not hesitate to punish you more severely. As it is, you're suspended from training for the next four weeks. Dismissed." The General shuffles her papers. After a while, she must notice his shock. "Do you have a problem, pilot?"

"No problem, General," Finn blurts, "but - why?"

The General's smile is soft. "We are not the First Order, Finn. We're better than them."

"But - you - " Finn shakes his head. "You should be firing me."

"Are you questioning my decision? Because I could still change my mind."

"No. No, ma'am."

Finn salutes and walks away as quickly as he can without running.

 

_Brown;_

Poe's eyes are the most expression part of him - even more expressive than his hands. They shine, they glow, and they're beautiful. They've always been both dark and beautiful.

"You're awake," Finn says.

Poe gasps. "I'm - awake." He blinks a few times. His eyes are clouded. "Finn?" He pays the side of the mattress. Finn takes his hand and squeezes. Poe's fingers dig in; he sighs and slumps back against the pillows. "I'm tired."

When Poe's head eventually clears, Finn smiles at him. "I think I finally worked out what you were saying, back on the base."

Poe's cheeks flush. "Oh. Really? Well. You're a smart guy."

"That was bad," Finn says. "It was the worst, Poe. Literally, the worst. I could have come up with something better than that, and my experience is on-existent."

"Sorry if my flirting skills aren't up to your standards after four days being held captive," Poe grouses, and Finn laughs. Poe's face grows blank. "So - what did - how - would you ever - "

"Ask me and I might."

Poe grits his teeth. "Finn, would you consider going for a trip with me somewhere, and then getting into a relationship?"

Finn looks off down the hall. "This is gonna prove all of Pava's rumours."

Poe pales. "You heard those?"

"Who didn't hear those?"

Poe's laugh is obviously faked. "You, I thought."

"I wanted to tell you," Finn says, "but I couldn't find the words."

 

( _Pink;_

Pink is the colour of Poe's lips, plush and perfect, as his tongue flickers around them; Finn kisses him with as much gentleness as he can summon.)


End file.
